Thursday, August 25, 2011

Life..

Times are tough for everyone but working retail pharmacy trying to raise a 3 year old and make my urban farm life more then a distant dream is really hard.

I've had my power shut off, struggle to pay rent, and work my tail off but i have nothing to show for it. Well I have a beautiful daughter, a beautiful house and a up and coming farm landscape but life seems to be trudging along slowly not improving and becoming increasingly harder.
I get my heart set on something and i work myself sick trying to make it happen and when it doesn't i get depressed and frustrated.
Lately i haven't wanted to get out of bed in the morning, lay around watching tragedy on TV, and work my 40 hours at my "real" job.. it feels like a chore just to trudge outside in the heat to pull weeds and start my fall planting...

I want to get myself out of this funk, its a nasty feeling being down, normally im so up beat and happy ARGH!

I am looking forward to this weekend Green After Dark event at the Odessa farmers market on Gunn Highway in Tampa. Live music, a aquaponics talk, and lots of awesome green vendors for everything from produce to soaps!

Thanks for listening readers! ; )

7 comments:

  1. Staying connected in a community is a great way to feel motivated. I'm also looking forward to Green after Dark, just for that reason!

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  2. Sorry to read that you're going through such a tough time. I struggle with depression sometimes pretty badly too so I know what an immense weight it can be.

    If it helps at all, your blog is a great source of inspiration, for me especially and for others as well I'm sure. Take heart. These dark spells don't last forever. If I had any money myself I'd be happy to donate some, but we're living on borrowed dimes ourselves. Best of luck to you, sweetie.

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  3. Thank you both very much. Today did seem to help as I met some very friendly people and even got a moringa tree and some grape cuttings to try to root. Depression sucks and I normally don't get it so hopefully I can get over this really fast. Thank you again. My blog will be lacking pictures for the next couple weeks because I got my internet turned off but I can still do some stuff from my phone, like comment and post just no photos or special stuff

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  4. It is a lot to go through the initial layout of a gardens hardscape, then the gardening itself the first year is always more labor heavy it seems to me. Add the fairly omni present worries we all carry individually or as a whole and it does not surprise to read of your feelings. I do say you inspire though. I've laid out a small plot for my friends double dug with pumpkins pole beans Montana amaranth cukes' and gooseneck squash. So chin up and taking the time for yourself like you did last night was spot on.

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  5. As you said, times are tough all over; but that doesn't mean that your own specific problems are any less significant. Figure out what is bothering you, the best course of action to deal with the problem and then you have to let it go...no amount of worryin' is going to make it go away. Then strap on your best gardening shoes and get back to work, Mother Earth is the best healer around. I know all of this from experience, Girl, I feel for you...

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  6. I feel your pain, it is almost 11am and I am still in bed! But I am getting up and I am headed to my plants, that are no doubt screaming for me. I am new here at your blog, but I have you bookmarked and I am coming back. One step at a time can get you places, hang in there girlfriend, it is a battle sometimes.

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  7. Thank you all so much for kind words, I'm honored to have such amazing readers! I'm glad my blog is useful to you.. sometimes I wonder if there's anybody out there reading lol. I hope to have a potluck get together come October so stay tuned in : ) thanks everyone

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