This is hard for me to write as I don't like to admit my failures, no one does, right? It is important that I do though as I think accepting and owning up to it is a huge step, so here we go.
I have been a bigger girl most of my life, the smallest I ever was in the couple years before I got pregnant with my daughter and I was between 140 and 160 (I'm 5'9 mind you). When I got pregnant I also quit drinking, smoking, and everything else destroying my life at the same time. I settled down with my then 3 month boyfriend and we started our life together. Before this point I had been a runaway consuming only what people were nice enough to give me normally a sandwich or piece of pizza a day. More people we willing to give me alcohol and cigarettes as it seemed that was in excess with the people I hung around with back then. I walked everywhere because I didn't have a license or car. So settling down with a job, car, and loving partner was something very different then what I had been dealing with. < A much longer story I still don't like to share.
During those 9 months of being pregnant I gained 100 pounds; I think a mix of quitting everything at the same time and having money to buy food aided my poor eating habits and quick weight gain. Since the day I had Brooke I have been trying to shed that weight... well in my head I was trying to shed it, in real life I was eating fast food when I was able to escape work for a few minutes, drinking frozen coffee drinks filled with sugar, gouge on fried foods, and not exercise. A couple years ago we decided to go healthier and we started eating what we grew, as well as local pastured meat, but the fast food still found itself in my belly a couple times a week, the coffee sometimes multiple times a day as work wore me out more and more.
At this point we are talking 5 years after my daughter was born and the only thing I had managed to do was gain an extra 20 pounds. I was ashamed I hated full body pictures of myself, I would look at the older pictures of me and cry. I had to make a change so about 6 months ago my husband and I decided to go healthy. We joined a gym and started going twice a week, we started eating even better, we made an effort. 2 months ago we ditched our deep fryer and now baked everything, we started eating low sugar, low fat foods, we ate less bread, more veggies, we cut out red meat (for the most part).
That brings us to the current. We work out twice a week, I stopped fast food but once in a GREAT while when I am so exhausted I just want to sleep, we eat pretty healthy, no more frying our foods, and we started monitoring ourselves. Since making slow changes 6 months ago we have improved our health, I can dance around the house with my almost 6 year old without tiring, and I have lost 22 pounds. I have a goal of being under 200 pounds by the end of the year and I will work towards that. Last week we had a cheat week, we went out to lunch and dinner a couple times and I gained 4 pounds, so I felt miserable but now I am back on track and ready to knock this out!